Things I Wish I Would Have Learned in School

School: Just the word alone brings up negative thoughts and feelings for many people. 

School is tough.  School is difficult.  School takes discipline.

Many teenagers today struggle with school. 

This may seem like common sense; but there is more to it than that. 

Our young people are failing at the one area where we really wanted them to succeed.

During the industrial revolution, our young people would often work long, stressful, dangerous hours; having adult roles and adult responsibilities in society. 

This created issues. 

Many people decided that it was time to get these young children away from these adult responsibilities.

So they created child labor laws. 

And this created a lot of free time for these young people. 

Many people did not like this free time. 

Because they did not trust the teens to have that much empty time on their hands. 

And they wanted to fill this empty time with something more productive. 

So they made a huge push for education.

Education was going to be the answer that they have been looking for. 

Western Culture began to emphasize the importance of education, and really push for a generation of young people who would begin to succeed academically. 

Education was the one major thing that they wanted the young people to do right.

Unfortunately, things did not turn out as planned. 

____________________________________________

I try not to live with regrets.

But that does not mean that I do not have any. 

One of my few regrets that still bothers me to this day is the fact that I did not take my education seriously as a young person. 

If I could go back, I would do so many things differently. 

I really hope that future generations can succeed where I failed.

If there were three things that I could tell every young person… three values that I could help instill… I firmly believe that these three things would change the trajectory of their life. 

3 things that I would tell every young person:

1.       Your education is important-

I wish that I would have realized this when I was younger.  When we are in high school, we feel like- A) we do not need to know any of the stuff we learn and- B) we already know all that we need to know.  It isn’t until we get out of high school that we realize how much we actually don’t know. 

2.       If you don’t build good habits now, it will be very hard to break them later-

There are many, many, MANY very poor habits that I built in high school. 

And I am still struggling to change many of them. 

And it is HARD to change bad habits. 

Very, very hard. 

It is possible- but it does not come easy.

Don’t wait until you’re old to grow up. 

Learn responsibility.

Learn discipline. 

Discipline yourself to read.

Discipline yourself to be good with money. 

It isn’t fun; but it is worth it. 

3.       Your willingness to learn will help determine your future-

Being a student does not end after high school. 

In high school, people tell you what you need to learn. 

When you get out into the real world; it isn’t always that simple. 

The people who are most successful in life are lifelong students. 

And some of them didn’t even go to college.

_______________________________________________

Life is hard- but you can help make it easier. 

Get ahead in life now, so that you will not be behind in life later.  





______________________________________________
resources: OMG Youth Ministry by Kenda Dean
Hurt 2.0 by Chap Clark
Wrecked by Jeff Goins 

Pressure to Be:

Living in the shadow of greatness often creates unrealistic, unattainable expectations. 

Unrealistic- not in a sense of a merit too high to be reached- but instead, in a sense of the unique calling and skill set that God gives each and every individual. 

Many young adults and teenagers have parents who are very successful, well-respected, hard-working, and accomplished in their respective fields of work. 

This alone is not a problem.

The problem arises when the parent wants their direct legacy to live on through their children.

I know many very successful parents who have young sons and daughters struggling to find their identity and find success in life. 

For some of them, it’s the academic expectations that are simply too lofty for their children to obtain. 

For others, it’s the prestige of a position that is far out of their reach. 

In the church world, we see it all of the time when it comes to the children of Pastors; or “P.K.’s” as they are often referred to.

PK’s get a bad reputation. 

Many of them are raised under a microscope, and face a certain amount of expectations that creates a very uncomfortable childhood. 

While other people their age are allowed to go through the journey of life discovering things on their own, PK’s often inherit the moral values and life-decisions of their parents.  They are told what to do, how to act, and what to think, but they don’t have a clear grasp of why they are supposed to be that way, act that way, or think that way. 

In the secular world, we see it all of the time in situations with successful parents having standards too high for their children to reach. 

While the older generation has high standards; and even high expectations for this coming generation, a few obstacles stand in the way of our young people growing up into successful and impactful men and woman. 

1.       Laziness-

One of the greatest threats to this current generation of teenagers is laziness.  Teens aren’t being raised in homes where hard-work is a high moral value.

2.       Lack of positive role models-

Teens are coming from broken homes, going to broken schools, and hanging out with broken people.

3.       Western culture-

The values of the society that we live in are far from Godly. 

As Christians, we need to do a better job;

We need to step up and be a light in this darkness.

And for each and every person out there who feels like they can’t live up to an expectation that others have for you….

And in case you don’t hear it from anybody else, I wanted you to hear it from me. .

You are a big deal.

You can amount to huge things.

God has huge plans for your life.

You just have to believe…

Believe in the YOU that He sees.    

________________________________________________________________________

Resource: Putting a positive spin on the pressure that you feel http://www.churchleaders.com/worship/worship-articles/152909-pressure-makes-us.html

Commitment:

One of the first and most important signs in one’s life pointing towards responsibility is a person’s ability to make and keep a commitment.  Unfortunately, this is a skill that very few people choose to learn.  This is a skill that takes discipline. 

Because of this we have a bunch of men and women, who, when it come to commitment choose to act instead like young boys and girls. 

Commitment is hard. 

Ideally, when a person begins the transition to adulthood, they should begin to learn the discipline of commitment; unfortunately in today’s society, that is not the case at all. 

Some of the signs of transitioning to adulthood are responsibility, independence, and discovering ones identity. 

Unfortunately, many times commitment isn’t something learned until much later in life. 

A fear of commitment is more than just wanderlust. 

A fear of commitment has deeper roots and issues. 

A fear of commitment is a problem that has nothing to do with age, gender, race, and ethnicity; instead, commitment has to do with simply making choices- choices to stick things out. 

When things get uncomfortable the natural tendency is to try something else. 

That is why the divorce rate is so high. 

That is why we have so many single parents. 

That is why we have so many drop outs. 

And whether we are aware of it or not, society is giving kids the impression that commitment is overrated. 

 A lack of commitment is a bigger issue than just committing. 
Commitment is a root problem, and every root produces fruit.

(Mat. 7:18)

And a lack of commitment can produce many bad fruits. 

The first of these is this:

1.      When you have problems committing, you will have a difficult time finding true happiness in life. 

Chuck Colson communicates this truth brilliantly:

“By abandoning commitment, our narcissistic culture has lost the one thing it desperately seeks: happiness. Without commitment, our individual lives will be barren and sterile. Without commitment, our lives will lack meaning and purpose. After all, if nothing is worth dying for, then nothing is worth living for. But with commitment comes the flourishing of society—of calling, of marriage, of the church—and of our hearts. It’s the paradox Jesus so often shared when he bid us to come and die that we might truly live.”

Which brings me to point two:

2.      When you have problems committing, you will have problems finding meaning and purpose for our life. 

Often, the moments that make life worth living for come only after pains, trials, adversity, and plenty of time.  And those life-defining moments often come after making tough decisions.

And the thing about a lack of commitment is this: a lack of commitment is not just simply waiting, or holding out for the potential of something better to come along. Instead, it is stalling.

Stalling on responsibility

Stalling on a tough choice.

And delaying the pain of making a decision and living with the consequences. 

I have heard this truth best explained like this:

“There are milestones in life that we only reach by making a tough choice, one that involves forsaking all other options. Like how to really love someone or the beauty of a long-term relationship—these are the lessons we need to learn. And the way we learn them is through commitment.” 

If you do not learn how to commit, finding your purpose in life may be a lifelong struggle. 

3.      When you have problems committing, you have no chance of leaving a legacy. 

It isn’t single moments that define a legacy. 

It is repetition.

It is consistency. 

It is commitment. 

Without commitment, the most you will experience is 15 minutes of fame; if you’re lucky. 

With commitment, you can change history. 

Why to Commit:

1.      Commitments reveal our identity.

2.      Commitments produce fruit. 

3.      Commitments help us become better people

“There is profound spiritual value in making commitments. By moving to a more committed lifestyle, you learn how to be a friend, meet a deadline, follow through on a task, and push through a challenge. Commitments help us become better people.”

4.      Commitment leads to contentment.

Commitment helps you to be comfortable with choosing your own destiny and being happy with the results. 

 Commitment will help you get over the fear and anxiety of making the wrong decision; and instead, be thankful with whatever choice you do make. 

Commitment isn’t easy, but it is worth it. 

Choose to commit; and don’t look back. 

And witness the places life will take you, and the experiences that will overcome you. 

All quotes taken from:  Goins, Jeff. Wrecked: When a Broken World Slams Into Your Comfortable Life. New Edition ed: Moody Publishers, 2012.

  

Pursuing Purity: Helping teens overcome the temptations of sexual activity

Sex is everywhere. 

Even where it isn’t, symbols of it are. 

Ads. 

Billboards.

Commercials.

It is almost unavoidable; everywhere we look, it exists. 

And teenagers are being raised thinking that is ok.   

If you talk to teens about sex, it isn’t necessarily that they want to be promiscuous. 

Instead, it is simply that they don’t see it as an issue. 

Many are unaware of the ramifications of their actions.

And for the first time in American history, many have not been raised in Christian homes with Christian morals.

Because of this, it is our responsibility to educate them on the importance of pursuing purity. 

Parents have the biggest responsibility to inform them to do so. 

The conversation may be awkward but it can have life changing affects. 

If the parents choose not to educate their children, then the world will. 

And the world will not do so in a righteous, Godly way. 

______________________________________________________

As Christians in general, we need to help others to see Christ. 

We need to help young adults rediscover Jesus, and rediscover what a righteous life looks like. 

Not only because their soul is in effect.

But because their life; their innocence; their future; their bodies; their happiness; and their emotions are in effect as well. 

__________________________________________________________

For us to help make a difference in the lives of these teenagers, there are things that we need to do. 

1.       Educate what a pure life looks like. 

If we don’t, somebody else will.

And that somebody probably won’t be a good role model. 

2.       Model what a pure life looks like. 

(Mat 7:3-5)

Many times, we are quick to jump on others for their faults; while we fail to demonstrate what a righteous lifestyle looks like ourselves. 

The greatest thing that we can do is help model what a pure life looks like. 

Actions speak louder than words. 

3.       Stand by them-

They will fail.  Many already have. 

They do not need someone to condemn them.

They need someone to love them and support them. 

Show them grace when they messed up.  Because we ALL mess up. 

And God has worked in us in mighty ways…

They want somebody who is transparent.

So be real.

Be honest.

Use your life as a testimony. 

(1 Tim. 13-14)

4.       Set boundaries

(James 1:14-15)

Prevent the slip-ups before they happen. 

Many times, they don’t go into a relationship expecting sex.

Or expecting a pregnancy.

But many times it starts as kiss.

And that kiss turns into more…and more…and more..

And eventually…..______________________.

Let’s be an influence. 

Let’s help impact lives before they make mistakes and have to live with the regrets. 

Let’s help change the way that things are.

And let’s pursue purity with our young people. 

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.churchleaders.com/youth/youth-culture-trends/147171-Culture%E2%80%99s-Confusion-Over-Sex.html

(Anti)Social Media

According to a recent post in the Chicago tribune, young people are spending an average of 53 hours a week on media. 

That’s more than a full time job.

That’s more than school.

No wonder there is such a disconnect in the home in families; with 53 hours of texting, calling, video games, television, facebook, and more, this is little time for anything else. 

Parents need to realize that every minute they spend with their children is incredibly important!

Because we need Godly Christian parents to take a stand and win back their children. 

And that will not come easily; but with hard work, focus, determination, and tons of prayer, it is more than possible. 

……and while parents will be the most influential role model in the lives of their children,

Youth pastors can also play a huge role in their lives as well.

I remember how much youth ministry changed my life growing up.

And I hope that each and every youth pastor, volunteer, worker, or leader realizes the importance of their job. 

I hope that they realize the level of responsibility and influence that they have….

___________________________________________________________________

Now- youth pastors…

Many youth pastors see their students once a week, for maybe 2 or 3 hours. 

2 or 3 compared to 53. 

Youth pastors; I urge you to pursue your students with all that you have to give.  

The 2 to 3 hours that you get a week may be the most important, instrumental hours that they spend all week; or, they may just as easily be time wasted. 

Please, please, please.. don’t just do youth group, do youth ministry. 

Many people in culture would describe a youth pastor to be no more than a baby sitter, a game coordinator, or simply a buddy; and this is sad. 

Because if that is all that you are, you honestly need to find a new profession. 

We need people who are passionate, hungry disciplers of teens; who have vision and ambition. 

And when it comes to social media, we have two choices.

1.       We can do nothing and hope that these trends go away. (spoiler: they won’t)

Or

2.       Adapt to the times.

And one way that we can really influence these teens is by influencing them through one of our greatest obstacles- social media. 

If you are a youth leader and you don’t have a facebook or a twitter, you need to change that. 

That is one of the greatest ways to connect with this generation of teens. 

They will judge you by your content online. 

And if you show that you are someone with good, Godly character, they will notice. 

So let me just encourage you.

Take that which is used to hurt our young people, and use it for good.

http://www.statisticbrain.com/social-networking-statistics/

http://www.teachersatrisk.com/2010/01/20/the-53-hours-a-week-teens-spend-on-media-use-is-way-too-much-of-a-good-thing/